Mike Perry recently broke his nose during a fight with Vicente “Instant Rhinoplasty” Luque.
Instead of getting surgery to fix that broke ass shit, Perry opted to embrace the new look. He headed to Hollywood where he was immediately cast as Sloth in an upcoming remake of “The Goonies.”
Executive producer, Steven Spielberg hailed Perry’s dedication to his new craft. “That’s total method acting. Besides, we were tired of watching him flail about in the ring like a real fighter,” said the famous director of E.T. and Jaws. Additionally, Spielberg intends to hire Perry’s longtime girlfriend, Danielle Nickerson, to direct the movie. “She can’t be any worse at directing a movie than she is at cornering a fight.”
Nickerson has long been derided by MMA fans for her excellent fight advice including gems such as “kick that knee” and “break that leg.” Many wonder why she’s even in Perry’s corner to begin with instead of an actual MMA coach.